Homeschool Reflections
As I approach the final years of my homeschooling journey, I am filled with reflections. Currently, I see all the things I could have done as I overlook all the things we did do. However, I do believe there’s tremendous value in looking back and seeing how things could have been improved. No journey is without its trials and successes, and when we reflect, we have the perspective, wisdom and experience to evaluate our journey. This series looks at regrets, loves, and challenges. Some challenges, well most truly, were a reflection of my development and growth. I hope you enjoy this series with levity, joy and an open heart.
Homeschool Reflections
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My #1 Homeschool REGRET | My first of many reflections after 23 years of homeschooling.
I'm at the point in my homeschooling journey where I can thoughtfully share several homeschooling regrets. Here's the first one. I regret I didn't focus more on language development with lessons in memorization, poetry, verses and classics. While we did do these lessons, we didn't do them often enough and with consistency. Along with these lessons, I regret not spending more time with the mechanics of writing including spelling and penmanship.
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New ListWhat I know NOW, I didn't Know THEN ... And How it Impacted my Children. Item
There are things I understand now about our homeschool journey that I simply did not understand when we first began, and so much of that has to do with temperament, especially my own. When I first started homeschooling, I was very focused on understanding my child.
My #1 Homeschool REGRET | My first of many reflections after 23 years of homeschooling.
I had a brain glitch at 6:15 😂
I'm at the point in my homeschooling journey where I can thoughtfully share several homeschooling regrets. Here's the first one. I regret I didn't focus more on language development with lessons in memorization, poetry, verses and classics. While we did do these lessons, we didn't do them often enough and with consistency. Along with these lessons, I regret not spending more time with the mechanics of writing including spelling and penmanship.
We do I feel this way now? And what brought this on?
My temperament has some amazing qualities, and it also has some challenges. What's curious about the challenging parts of my temperament (primarily avoiding conflict), is that that quality is actually a positive one in the right situation. And that quality did serve our homeschool well...until it didn't.
I believed that many learning challenges would work themselves out with time and patience. And while this is true much of the time, when it's not true, early intervention may have been necessary (or just timely intervention).
When one of my children was young, I noticed some letters were always written backwards or incorrectly. I thought a little time was needed to naturally correct those mistakes. Maybe for most children time was all that was needed, but in this specific instance, habit formation, gentle guidance and correcting would have been the solution. Instead, poor habits were formed and mistakes lingered.
Now that I begun my Waldorf teacher training, I am learning so much which could have informed choices I made when my children were younger. Doesn't it always seem like we know exactly how to do something after the experience is complete, and we wonder, "what good is this to me now? My children are grown?!" Such is life.
When I mentioned that regret is not an Islamic concept, I should have clarified that "What if" or "if only" is actually the concept that is not Islamic. We may certainly have regrets, but I hope that these experiences and lessons I have learned help me inform future decisions and help others on their homeschooling journey.
And also, I may add that these 'shortcomings' are mine and not my children's.
Why is language development so important?
Language is acquired through imitation, not taught intellectually. While we have major stages of development every 7 years with birth to 7 years as the Willing phase, followed by the feeling and thinking phase, each cycle is also divided into three phases with birth to 7 years marked by smaller phases of willing, feeling and thinking. This is seen in children where walking precedes talking and talking precedes thinking and each is highlighted by a 2 1/3 year phase making up the first 7 year cycle.
Language shapes the feeling life of the child, as language is not just informational, but formative as well. A child with rich oral language develops a rich inner life.
Language builds the foundation for abstract thought. While abstraction, analogies, critical thinking and intellectualization of material is reserved for post puberty and the third 7 year cycle (14-21 years), the foundations are laid early on.
One may argue accurately that letters and numbers are abstract. This is true. So, to achieve this first lesson in written language, language rich oral stories are told that evoke strong imagery to the children before drawing a picture in which the letter is embedded. Through this lesson, children are guided to see the letter emerge natural like a M appearing in the mountain tops or C appearing in the opening of a cave.
Language development is directly tied to brain development. Children exposed to rich language environments are likely to develop stronger cognitive abilities. While language development may be directly responsible for reading, writing and comprehension abilities, it is also the foundation for reasoning abilities and intellectual endeavors. [Kuhl, P. K. (2004). "Early Language Acquisition." Nature Reviews Neuroscience.]
Language is not just about communication, it is the basis for thinking.
Language transforms a child's sensory experience into meaning, experience into memory, perceptions into concepts and feelings into thought. These functions develop over the child's development from birth to 21 years of age.
How is language development achieved? It is achieved through storytelling (and reading aloud), poetry, singing, memorization of verses, poetry and text, recitation, singing, listening to language above the child's capabilities and oral narration.
These practices strengthen the foundations upon which later intellectual development arises through the practices of writing, reading, comprehension, thinking, reasoning and abstract thought.
And one honorable mention: Language development helps with self expression in the adolescent years.
What I know NOW, I didn't Know THEN ... And How it Impacted my Children.
There are things I understand now about our homeschool journey that I simply did not understand when we first began, and so much of that has to do with temperament, especially my own. When I first started homeschooling, I was very focused on understanding my child. I wanted to know his temperament, his learning style, and what he needed in order to thrive. But what I didn’t realize at the time was that my own temperament was shaping everything. It influenced my decision to homeschool in the first place. I knew that I wanted a Waldorf education and that I wanted to include our religious studies in a meaningful way, and since there were no Waldorf Islamic schools available, homeschooling felt like the right choice. But deeper than that, my temperament made homeschooling feel more manageable than navigating the constant conflict I imagined would come from sending my child into an environment that didn’t align with our values. I naturally gravitated toward creating a peaceful, aligned environment rather than constantly resisting an external one.
As I began to understand the temperaments more deeply, I realized that I am primarily phlegmatic, with some choleric and sanguine qualities as well. That phlegmatic nature loves peace, avoids conflict, and prefers flexibility. And while those qualities brought a lot of gentleness and calm into our homeschool, they also shaped our rhythm in ways I didn’t fully recognize at the time. For example, if my children were deeply engaged in play, I didn’t want to interrupt them just to follow an arbitrary schedule. Play was meaningful and productive, and I trusted their instincts. But over time, this flexibility sometimes became a lack of structure. I would allow long stretches of freedom, and then later feel pressure to catch up, which created stress for both of us. Instead of consistently cultivating rhythm and structure, I would swing between flexibility and urgency. This pattern continued longer than I realized, even into their teenage years, and I can now see how my temperament influenced not just the environment, but their development of discipline and independence.
What I’ve come to understand is that temperament shapes everything, not just our children, but us as parents and teachers. My flexibility gave them freedom, creativity, and a love of learning without burnout, and when they entered college, they adapted quickly and successfully to structure. But I also recognize that my own work is ongoing. Understanding my temperament has helped me see both its strengths and its limitations. It has helped me understand why I made certain choices, why certain rhythms felt natural, and where I still need to grow. This awareness has been one of the most valuable parts of our homeschool journey, because homeschooling was never just about educating my children. It was also a path of self-understanding and personal development for me.
Check out the blog post on the temperaments here.